To,

The younger me that gathered the courage to dream. To my younger self that had the zeal and passion to follow her heart. To take the road filled with uncertainty, the road that is least taken by anyone else before.Being a woman the conditioning in the real world is even more challenging to overcome. But she was guided by the voice of her heart.

She wasn't just a wishful dreamer acing fantasy and living in an unrealistic view of the world. She simply knew she needed to take this route to find herself. To take a decision based on the inner voice shakes the matrix. She was subjected to a lot of dismissal and discouragement. She was horrified to have the will to see beyond the egotistical realms.

But, now looking back at her I feel nothing but love and reverence for her. To have taken this path and travelled within and beyond. Some journeys do not come with a roadmap. They are are taken through sheer faith and courage. No journey is ever convenient. They say the soul hears the whispers of its fate and starts running in that direction. If my younger self never took that courageous and unshakable steps i wouldn't have learnt and evolved. Never would I ever witness the magics and the miracles life had to offer. I am proud of her to have had the guts to dream and to say that I will go and find out what's meant for me out there.

I always had deep wanderlust. Growing up I had never travelled as much. Having lots of inquisitiveness to go out and experience the world for myself. I enjoyed doing things for the first time. Knowing that I don't know what's about to happen doesn't scare me at all. I feel life is supposed to be lived with absolutely openness to surprises and sudden moments of pure bliss. I feel that God's clouds and sunrays are always by my side.

Far away from home in the middle of a distant city crowd was my college St Anns college for women. The kind of college that absolutely classy and elegant people go to. The only purpose was to get out of the house and witness the world all by myself. I love travelling in local transport. I love taking autos and buses. I love human beings in their most human versions. Seeing and meeting common people doing common stuff fuels my soul with so much joy.

Seeing tiffin centres, flower shops, local business, conductors, drivers everything that is basic and ordinary about travelling is my absolute favourite thing to experience. Not getting a seat standing with so many strangers all trying to reach somewhere. The peace and sense of achievement once you get the seat after standing for a long time. If you are lucky enough you will catch one with less crowd and a window seat. Such a bonus that is. And that's where I just become my purest child self.

Listening to my playlist looking at every town passing, every tree speaking a secret tale just for me. The wind is singing lullabies the birds are greeting my morning. I remember every lane every turning point at every junction. I cherish the cherry blossoms that would come every year in the spring season. Sometimes I would notice the wild flowers in between the road that just grow. They are not plucked and turned into a bouquet. They are on the roads wild and free. Radiant and colorful. Free from standards, free from fitting in. I wish to be a wildflower. Always living with freedom and passion for life itself

My college had a vibe of its own. Girls colleges are known for having the most amazing girls in the town. No wonder there were some of the most incredibly talented and breathtakingly beautiful girls. My journey of finding friends was one of its kind. My college had places where I spent my most memorable moments. One being a quiet corner on the veranda of first floor, library was a very giant comfort zone and magnificent as well as the sports room where we spent playing carrom and badminton. I definitely had great friends and great memories.

The new city almost accepted me. I had loving friends and a refuge far away from house. I am so grateful for all my friends who adored and cared for me. But there were moments of being on my own as well. At the end of the day life is being on the own.

The downfalls were many. I have experienced falling stumbling failing breaking through out this journey as well. This wasn't simply a journey of self discovery. It was also excruciatingly diving deep within. But looking back in retrospect all pain led to healing. All nights led to beautiful sunrises. All nightmares turned into beautiful dreams.

Going wrong is never wrong. Not knowing is just alright. I want to tell my younger self that you don't not know where you are going and what is unfolding but trust me you are protected by the invisible forces and loving guides. Everytime you fell in doubt it was fair to have fallen into that hole of confusion .You were trying your best.

I want to give a big hug to my younger self for dreaming beyond the basics of what generalized opinion of the world allows one to follow. To have said that I will carve my path and I will find my own voice and my own choice of finding my truth and living it.

To have had the courage to fall in love to break and to keep rising and gaining so much wisdom and experience. Dear younger self without your persistence I wouldn't have had all that I have acquired.

A moment of thank you to you despite your innocent heart. Your journey wasn't perfect but it was divinely guided. You inspire me to keep living through my heart. To keep breaking the paradigms of ego and to serve my purpose. To fulfil the mission of coming and living this life with authenticity truth and love.

Notes